Greetings!

We designed this site in order to keep in touch with friends and family who are far away and in order to communicate with other adoptive families from around the world.

When we first started researching this wonderful way to become a family we read everything we could get our hands on. Even though there are a lot of great books out there, nothing was as informative or touching as the blogs we found by adoptees, biological parents, and adoptive families. So we are writing this blog now in hopes of returning the favor. We hope that if you are dear to us you will enjoy keeping up with our adventures. If you are someone out there involved in a part of the adoption triad we hope you will find information and comfort here and provide us with some of your own!

If you would like to get in touch with us we can be reached at: becomingafamily@gmail.com
Feel free to stop by anytime. We're happy to share our family story.

Take care,
Brian and Rosemary

Thursday, March 11, 2010

You take the good, you take the bad...

So we have had a really stressful introduction to family life. We feel so BAD for Button because his transition to our family was always going to be full of loss (no way around that) but no one could have predicted it would be this uncomfortable. Brian got sick first. The day they brought Button to be a permanent part of our family (his goodbye day with his "Yai and Pa") Brian was virtually unavailable he was so sick. So there we were. Mommy and Button. Yes, that is correct, my body was a human shield for his laser beams of hatred. Brian would appear occasionally.

The next day we had to go to the DSDW meeting to officially receive his paperwork and become his parents. I started running a fever that day but one cannot miss the DSDW meeting so I carry on.

The third day Brian is feeling fully recovered and I continue to feel rotten but what can be done? We have a kid to take care of and that kid is completely miserable anytime we are in the hotel room. He's no fool. He recognizes this as the site of all his loss. He needs constant distraction from his total misery e.g. "Where is my Yai?" So we decide to go to the Bangkok Zoo. It's a lovely place and I highly recommend it if you are coming here with your own unhappy adoptee. We had a very nice morning looking at animals and eating popsicles at the goat pen. Button is especially pleased with the giraffes. Then it is lunch time so Brian goes to hunt for food and I take Button to change his diaper and wash hands for eating. Button looks at me calmly and throws up on his clothes. Then while I am cleaning that up he throws up on me. Then while I am cleaning that up he throws up on the wipes. Yes, that is 3 projectile vomits in a row. We finally find Brian and go back to the hotel immediately. Button throws up in the Taxi. #4! The taxi driver yells at us all the way back to the Pantip Court. I give him an enormous tip and run upstairs.

At the present time, I am no longer running a fever but existing on applejuice and rice. Button still has a fever but is keeping food down for about 24 hours now. Hoping and praying the kiddo feels better soon!
--Rosemary

12 comments:

Jessica said...

Oh, wow, Roses. An introduction to parenthood with a vengeance! Are you a momma now or what.

I hope that all are well and back to eating tasty Thai food soon.

Kim Hancock said...

So sorry you're off to a rough initiation into parenthood... will keep you all in our prayers!

Kerrie (and Jason) said...

hugs from us for you all. It going to get better for sure.

Mireille said...

A rough start can only make it easier the next part of this adventurous journey!
Chock Dee for the rest of the days, I hope you all feel better soon!

April said...

Rosemary, wow....Button sounds very similar to Grace. She was 21 months and had a very, very difficult time and grieved tremendously for her foster family. I was just telling my brother yesterday that one of my regrets was taking away Grace's bottle shortly after arriving home b/c I thought she was too old for it and didn't want it to become a "bad" habit. What I wish I would have done was allow it to be a source of comfort for her even if it meant her being a lot older and drinking from a bottle. Live and learn right? For us the hotel was the most difficult b/c Grace would cry and cry at the door. We tried to stay out as much as possible to distract her. She also stopped eating all Thai food while we were there and would only eat french fries and spaghetti.
I know it may feel impossible now but the healing WILL begin with time. He couldn't have better parents.
Praying for you all.
April

Anonymous said...

Oh Rosemary, wow that is quite an introduction.
As the other ladies have said, it will pass, it will get better, and you are awesome parents and Button is blessed to have you.
It is amazing how resilient these little guys are despite what feels like the worst of the worst circumstances. Don't start beating yourself up.
NE also grieved terribly for his Foster Family. So terrible that I can still barely even think about it, it was painful for us to watch, so I can't even imagine what he was going through.
However, that said, he pulled through, we pulled through, and we all turned out fine.
We went back and visited NE's Foster Family when we brought home little Wee and it was THE BEST experience EVER!!!!
Grieving is good, it passes and our children become stronger individuals for it.
Hang in there, we are praying that you are all on the mend and you have climbed over the mountain.
Once you are home, things will improve dramatically. Praying for you.
Love, Sharon.

Chris and Terri said...

Isn't parenthood great! Gotta love projectile vomiting. I hope you are all back to yourselves quickly!

I might suggest lots of changes of clothes for everyone for the plane ride and some plastic bags!!!! Just in case!!! We've been there, done that more than once!!!

Maci Miller said...

Oh, Roses - what a welcome into motherhood! SO sorry you all have been sick and especially having to watch little Button sick. That just sucks. The good news is: It's all up from here! Hang in there. It will get better and you will get through all the bumpy stuff!
Love and hugs from us to you!

Wendy said...

Rosemary,
So sorry about Button's difficulties. I ditto what April said (her daughter and Lily had the same foster family). Lily screamed bloody murder from the moment she first laid eyes on us through the plane ride home. She absolutely loathed my husband for about 3 weeks. She refused to eat and slept all the time. There was no question in my mind that she was thoroughly depressed. She warmed up to Becky a bit, but would only stop crying when she was outside looking at the lights at night. However, as soon as she stepped foot in our house, she acted like she owned the place, and has adjusted beautifully ever since. Hang in there...this too shall pass!

Megan said...

I have been saying mama's should be exempt from getting sick alot this past week as I have been sick. It is so hard to parent when you are sick let alone parent a grieving toddler you just laid eyes on. It is official--you are a mama!! And I so enjoyed the visual reminder you gave me with the laser beams of hatred!! LOL I definitely got those!!
Praying for good health!

Mrs. Barno said...

I am *so* sorry you all got sick, but I bet Button is learning that you two take care of him when he feels icky. That's the whirlwind of parenthood: it begins immediately! You are a wonderful Mama.

a Tonggu Momma said...

I am so sorry... it is rough on everyone when both parents are sick, but especially at such a time.