Greetings!

We designed this site in order to keep in touch with friends and family who are far away and in order to communicate with other adoptive families from around the world.

When we first started researching this wonderful way to become a family we read everything we could get our hands on. Even though there are a lot of great books out there, nothing was as informative or touching as the blogs we found by adoptees, biological parents, and adoptive families. So we are writing this blog now in hopes of returning the favor. We hope that if you are dear to us you will enjoy keeping up with our adventures. If you are someone out there involved in a part of the adoption triad we hope you will find information and comfort here and provide us with some of your own!

If you would like to get in touch with us we can be reached at: becomingafamily@gmail.com
Feel free to stop by anytime. We're happy to share our family story.

Take care,
Brian and Rosemary

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Stroller

So in case you can't tell, we are those annoying "consumer reports" people who feel the need to read everything about said product before buying it. We also check public opinions on chat rooms and cross compare various safety features. Yes, by "we" I do mean Brian. The other day, someone who does not know us very well, overheard us discussing a recent baby purchase and (in this extremely condescending tone) said, "Oh my gosh, you guys are like really anxious first time parents! Trust me - by the third kid you'll just be buying whatever is on sale." I looked at Brian and thought "Hmmm, only if that third kid comes with a lobotomy." This is not new behavior for "us". I would love to be able to say that this has something to do with our swelling parental love for Button but sadly... this is how "we" bought our vacuum.

Enter the stroller purchase! I had only three concerns 1.) It had to be parent facing to encourage bonding. 2.) I had to be able to lift it (I'm weak like a smurf). 3.) I had to love the design in every way. Brian had a host of other concerns that I won't bother detailing here because I never understood them. I will say this though: As much as I tease him, I am grateful to the man for making some semblance of order out of the good time parade that is my life!

So the stroller shopping basically started and ended like this:
Roses: Ooooooh, I really want the Stokke Xplory stroller.
Brian: That is an insane amount of money and totally impractical in every way.
Roses: I love the design!! It's so tall and I'm so short that Button and I will practically be face to face!
Brian: It has terrible fold down and very few abilities.
Roses: I love the design!!!
Brian: It is a financial QUAGMIRE!

So after multiple rejections on both sides Brian finally came up with this little beauty:
The Mutsy 4Rider. Ladies and gentlemen, a compromise was reached! It is a very cool (mostly unheard of) stroller that has great fold down, parent facing options, removable wheels, fantastic maneuverability, and the website has all the usual accessories available for purchase. I can personally assure you it is pretty light for a stroller. They all weigh a ton, in my opinion, but I can lift this one so that's saying something.

My favorite feature is that the child's seat sits pretty high which moves Button closer to my eye-level. Brian's favorite feature is that the handle bar moves in and out at the touch of a button so we can each use it at a comfortable height. This is important for us since he is more than a foot taller than me.

So anyway, if you are on a stroller hunt of your own - good luck! If you get the Stokke send me pictures of you and your tot taking it for long walks in the park. I know the Stokke (especially the yellow one) will be happy in a park...

--Rosemary
**A special word of thanks goes out to my parents, Button's Papa and Gai Gai, who lovingly bought us our stroller as a baby gift!! Thanks, Mom and Dad!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Crib Bedding!

The crib bedding arrived! I have been waiting forever for this stuff to get here so it's a major deal. First of all it took me months to decide on what I wanted and I annoyed everyone I knew by switching paint colors and refusing to decide on a "theme", colors or bedding until the last minute. Hence, our unfinished nursery now in the final weeks before leaving to pick up Button. If you are waiting to adopt a child learn from my crazy and try not to do this. I spent hours one afternoon torturing my very patient (and talented) Aunt Karen who looked at swatches of everything with me and I still couldn't decide. Then the angels sang and trumpets blared and I saw this by Argington:


I fell in love with the clean graphic print and the bright colors. Plus, Brian and I both loved the fact that it was gender neutral. Beside all that, there was something about the design that kept whispering memories of Thailand to me. Maybe it's the mosaic of tropical flowers or the bird silhouettes flying across the pattern but it says home to me.

So now that it's all here I better get off this blog and hurry up and get the kiddos bedroom finished!

--Rosemary

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Miss Poppy

A couple of weeks ago I found this adorable book, Ms. Poppy's Guide to Raising Perfectly Happy Children, in a little shop here in town and couldn't resist it's cute title. After reading it I was glad I picked it up on impulse. It is an easy to read, enjoyable book with lots of encouraging tips for managing toddlers!


The book was written by Elaine Addison, a professional nanny with more than 18 years of experience. Not only does she give helpful and direct advice for dealing with the various developmental stages but she also has some hilarious and quirky stories about the different families she has worked for over the years. The book is divided into 3 basic sections: 6 mon - 1 yr, 1 yr - 2.5 yr, and 2.5 - 5 yr, so you can easily skip to the section that applies to your child now. Each section covers nutrition, recipes and "getting them to eat", games, books and toys, health, sleep issues and discipline.

What I liked the most about Ms. Poppy's Guide was that it had very specific hands-on ideas instead of just loose philosophies e.g. if it urged you to play a game with your child before lunch it gave 3 examples and showed exactly how to do them. Some books simply say, "Have more fun with your toddler." Having spent years as a nanny myself, I know that no matter how obvious these ideas may seem the well of creativity does run dry eventually and it always seems to happen on the very day when the kids are sick and screaming and mom didn't get any sleep last night. On these occasions it is so very lovely to turn to a book you trust and pull out an idea for entertainment. These fun crafts and games are the caregiver's curriculum and it really can pull us through the day. I'm photocopying and stockpiling my "lesson plans" as we speak and Ms. Poppy has a boodle of them so I give it 4 stars.

--Rosemary

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Hyphen

Hyphen is an amazing magazine, dedicated to Asian-American interests, that Brian and I recently started subscribing too. Here's how they describe themselves on the "about" section of their website:
"Because it shouldn't be hard to find substantive and well-researched articles about complicated issues that affect Asian Americans in a single magazine devoted to us. Because we're tired of reading celebrity profiles in publications that tell us what to buy, where to travel, and how to eat. Because we're bored with first-person essays about discovering our roots. Hello, can we stop talking about our roots, which we found a long time ago thank-you-very-much, and move on? Can we talk about people doing interesting things because they're interesting, not just because they're Asian American and always making statements about their identity? Because we feel excluded when reading only about New York and California — what about Texas and Minnesota and Kansas? Because we'll yawn if we see another interview with the same three Asians the mainstream approves of. We want to hear about emerging artists, writers, filmmakers, performers, and musicians. Because we're Asian American, not Asian. Because when we scanned the newsstand, we couldn't find ourselves. Now we can."

This is a magazine designed for adults about adult topics. They have fantastic art, music reviews, interesting interviews and a quirky sense of humor. The writing is solid and we both enjoy reading it. However, we know that some people may be wondering, "Why are you getting this magazine? You're not Asian." A lot of people may feel like that is the sort of thing we should wait and just order for our kids when they are old enough to want to read about "Asian culture" themselves. But we think it's important that our kids see us reading magazines with Asian people on the cover. We think it's important that our kids see us reading books written by Asian authors. We think it's important that they see us listening to CD's by Asian artists and attending movies with Asian performers. We think they deserve to have that be a part of the fabric of their lives. They shouldn't have to demand it as a part of an emerging teen identity. It is their race and it should be respected in their home.

It's equally important that we don't bring home books, CD's, movies, etc, with a sense of false enthusiasm. We're trying to educate ourselves about the wide variety of options out there so we can find racially diverse representations of our particular tastes. We want our choices to be authentic! We don't want to give the impression that in order to fit in as Asian-Americans our children will have to loose their personal identity in support of some wider racial cause. We need to show them that they can find what they are looking for and they can find it represented by their own race. If they don't, then we hope they will be confident enough to become that representation.

We truly like Hyphen - it's an incredibly cool magazine - and it's giving us a great education in the pop culture of young Asia-America. So until we are old, stupid parents "who don't know anything" and have to down grade to the Reader's Digest we are going to enjoy reading Paste and Hyphen because we are an Asian American family and because we like music and literature.

- Brian and Rosemary

Monday, February 1, 2010

The panic monster

Wow! Where have I been? It's crazy that my last post was 9 days ago! We have been so busy and yet I feel like we're just not getting enough done. We were in Seattle for part of that time and then we had some WONDERFUL friends in town for part of that time but where did all the rest of it go? I truly do not know. My friends and family would tell you that my spare moments were probably devoted to the study of panic. I've been doing a little bit of bathroom crying and some late night phone calls to the best friend. I've also been eating a lot of carbohydrates.

Hey, guys, do you have any idea how scary having your first child is? It's incredibly frightening! When you really stop to think about it having children is absurd. It's the end of sleeping late and spending all our money on ourselves. It's the end of afternoons full of quiet solitude and good music. It's the end of romantic weekends. I have an almost visceral dislike for the kids I see running in the mall. Why would any of us do this? I call the best friend to double check my sanity.

Then I'm putting away his little cups and plates in the cabinet and it's as though I really notice their size for the first time. Such tiny spoons. I washed all his socks and they hardly seemed big enough for real, live feet. I look at his pictures again. This specific little face will watch Sesame Street in the mornings with me. Kids are snuggly and they do say cute things. I call the best friend back to confer. She reminds me that babies smell good too. Anyway, Button is our kid and that makes it different. I don't know why but it does. Plus, I'm not going to let him run in the mall.

As long as Brian and I are together we can do anything and as long as we are going to meet Button everything is perfect. Outside of that does anything really matter? No. Not at all.

--Rosemary

Friday, January 22, 2010

We Got Our T.A.!!!

It finally happened!! Thank God, we finally got our T.A.! For those of you not in the adoption world, that stands for Travel Approval and it is the paperwork we have been missing. Marissa, our adoption advocate at Holt International, emailed me saying she received word that we were invited to appear before the DSDW board on March 10th and petition to adopt our son. HALLELUJAH!

We are so excited and grateful to finally be given this chance to meet Button and his foster family, for whom we have such appreciation. Even though we knew that every day was bringing us closer and closer to getting this phone call - I am still in a state of shock. I can't believe we have actually been approved for travel and we know when we will get to meet our son. What kind of unbelievable, miracle-magic is that?

So for those of you who are not Holt adoptive families here is a basic synopsis of how this whole thing will actually work: we will meet Button for the first time a few days before the DSDW board meeting. Our first sight of him will be in a casual setting with social workers and, possibly other adoptive families, we will play for a little while and then all go to lunch. Over the course of three days before we actually greet the DSDW, we will have other casual meetings with Button, the social workers and then his foster family. Of course, at that point in time, every second with our son is going to feel like the most important moment of our lives but the point is to try not to stress him out.

Button will be 18 months old when we finally meet him on March 7.
--Rosemary

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Perfect Thai

For Christmas Brian's grandmother gave me one of my favorite things in the world: A COOKBOOK! Anyone who knows me well knows that I love nothing more than to curl up with a lovely, fat, cookbook and leaf through the pages looking at all the wonderful things to cook, eat, and share. This was a very special cookbook though because it was a Thai cookbook. Over the past couple of years Brian and I have bought one or two but this is my new reigning favorite!


Perfect Thai: A Collection of Over 100 Essential Recipes by Parragon Books is a wonderful compilation. There is a full color picture on every page showing the detailed recipe. I LOVE THAT! I don't know about you, but I really don't care to guess how my food should look at the end result. Perfect Thai is also divided into convenient sections: appetizers, soups and salads, for meat lovers, seafood fans, made with vegetables, and to finish. It is a truly easy and beautiful guide to cooking those delicious Thai dishes at home as a family. Trust me, it can be done, two years ago we couldn't even make coconut rice!

Let's fire up those woks!
--Rosemary

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