This week's book review is of Michael Lewis's very funny book Home Game: An Accidental Guide to Fatherhood. Michael is a novelist, freelance writer, and father of three children. This book starts with his account of their move to France, when their oldest daughter was a baby, and moves through the phases of their lives with each section focusing on one of the three children. His unique voice makes each of the stories - most of which are well-worn fatherhood anecdotes - fresh and amusing. One of my favorite passages, from the France episode:
"Gymboree, I am told, is an American company. But it could not have found more fertile soil abroad in which to plant itself, importing, as it does, the love of order into a chaotic marketplace. ... it appears to be a carefully crafted, scientifically based institute for infant development. Just beneath the science, however, is an infant rendition of Lord of the Flies."
Through all of the humor, though - and this is definitely a humorous book - is evidence of his deep love for his children, and his contentment and happiness with the role of father. He describes growing into the position, learning to bond with his kids and how to do "fatherly" things. As a side note, it was nice to see someone from outside of the adoption world refer to the process of bonding and attachment. It's comforting, every once in a while, to dispel the notion that all biological families just instantly "click" while we have to work at it.
There is a section of the book where he discusses his son's being sick in the hospital as a very young infant and my wife may claim that I cried while reading this section. However, I will deny this like a Soviet press secretary. The fact remains, though, that it is a deeply affecting portrait of fatherhood. It gave me ammunition for the road ahead and lots to look forward to.
-- Brian
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4 comments:
Glad to hear the male perspective. And, to find out there is a funny parenting book out there. It'll be a nice break from all the serious reads.
Someone is quickly becoming a dad. ;)
Hi Brian,
I'm one of your readers.
We have 3 birth children and are hoping to adopt one or 2 children.
A child when comes to us is always a stranger. Even when it's a stranger that comes from your own tummy, it's someone we have never seen, and whose temperament, face, body, personality we still don't know.
With my 3 birth children, I didn't feel instantly bonded to them.
It takes time, it took me 3 months to LOVE being parent and it took different amount of time with each child to feel I was their parent and they were mine. So our expectations are pretty much the same with our adopted children.
Anyway it's fantastic you're working so hard to be a good parent.
Best of luck.
Looking forward to see your son's cute face on this blog in some months time,
Teresa
Welcome Teresa, thanks for the kind comment! We hope to see you on here again! Yes, we think we will be posting pics of Button on here in the near future - we certainly hope to.
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