Fun, Fun, Fun!

Brian left today for a conference. I never fully bother to understand the ins-and-outs of his work related life but it's something... medical. Normally, I mourn his abscence like a Bronte character but this trip is different. The best friend is coming! So while Brian is lounging by the pool in San Antonio...er...um... I mean working super hard to learn stuff while trapped in the ballroom of a luxury hotel I will be taking a few days off work myself and ferrying my old college roommate around to see the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains. In all actuality, we will probably just stay up too late talking, get lost on Skyline Drive, spend most of the weekend laughing at nonsense and eat about a hundred pounds of creamcheese while watching movies we've already seen but I can call that "seeing the sights" can't I? Can't I??

So, dear ones, I am taking some time off from the old blogosphere in order to have a little much needed FUN and celebrate Thanksgiving with my favorite man on earth once he comes back to me. I wish each of you a very blessed home and a grateful heart!

Love,
Rosemary

Mommy ponders

Lately, I've been thinking about Button even more than usual. Perhaps it's because we are getting closer and closer to meeting him or maybe it's because we know he's getting older everyday and that means he is becoming more of a little person with every moment. It reminds me of the song "Maybe" from Annie where she is singing about her missing parents and she says, "Betcha he reads, betcha she sews, maybe she's made me a closet of clothes! Maybe they're strict as straight as a line... Don't really care As long as they're mine!"

Well, you know, it's kind of like that... except in reverse.

I wonder if my son is left handed or right. Does he eat carrots or spit them out? Is Button afraid of the dark? Does our son love bathtime or is he one of those kids who hates it? I wonder if he is shy or a "never-met-a-stranger" type of kid. Is our son one of those boys who can't resist throwing each and every ball he sees? I wonder if Button loves to be read to. How many words can our son say? Does he suck his thumb? I wonder which of his biological parents Button looks more like. What does his laugh sound like? Most of all, I wonder when will we get to meet our son?

I lay awake at night thinking about these things but I know that, while discovering the answers will be so very special, they won't really change anything for us. Whoever Button is - he's already ours.

--Rosemary

The Good Truck Lollypop

Last night I dreamed that Button came home. It was very odd because he was being delivered to us and we were not going to Thailand. The thing that was completely right though was how excited I felt! My dear friend and, once-upon-a-time-roommate, Tiffany was there with Brian and me and the three of us walked out onto the front lawn to wait for Button. I was so nervous and overwhelmed I thought I would die. We had my parents on speaker phone because they wanted to hear the whole thing since they weren't there and my mom kept screaming into the phone, "Is he there yet? Can you see him?"




Finally this hilarious, extremely tiny, 3 wheeled truck (like the kind they use in Europe) came racing around the corner going about 90 mph. The truck was completely covered with huge blue and pink fabric ribbons that were billowing in the wind like sails. I turned to Tiff and said, "My God, the good truck lollypop is delivering our baby." My mother was screaming through the phone, "Lollypop? Lollypop? Can you see Button? What's going on?" The tiny be-ribboned truck screached to a halt right in front of us and I dropped the phone and stared through the passenger side window at a beautiful little boy looking back at me solemnly.

I woke up sitting straight up in my bed at 4:30am with my heart pounding out of my chest about to die of excitement. The good feeling has lasted all morning. I think it was an omen. A happy omen. I truly believe my son is coming home soon.

--Rosemary

My Mother Wears Combat Boots

My fantastic friend Mickey, who is expecting her first child, recently sent me this book and I love it! Even though it isn't about adoption (at all) I decided to review it this Wednesday because I think it is important to occasionally take a break from all the attachment and bonding stuff and remember that we also need to learn about the regular everyday stuff required to keep a toddler alive and keep his parents sane.

My Mother Wears Combat Boots is a really fun book about a young couple's adventure through first time parenthood. Jessica Mills, author and mommy, talks about the trials of parenting isolation, heartbreak and finances with a great deal of honesty and humor.

Since this is not, in any way, designed for the adoptive family, I feel that I should warn you that there is a lot of pregnancy, breastfeeding and post-natal talk in this book. If you are sensitive to those subjects or have sustained a lot of emotional loss surrounding the idea of not sharing those moments with your child then this may not be the book for you. I just skipped portions that I didn't feel like reading. She had so many fantastic chapters on subjects I am really interested in like co-sleeping, organic nutrition, and loving discipline that I found the book well worth it!

Happy reading!
--Rosemary

The Protector

Recently we watched another movie by Tony Jaa of Ong Bak fame. This one is called The Protector and it released in America in 2006 but I am only just now seeing it. The Protector cutely debuted as Tom-Yum-Goong in Thailand (named after the sweet and sour soup).

In this martial arts classic Tony is chasing an evil crime syndicate who have stolen his elephants. Yes, his elephants. Oh well, they also killed his father but that is definitely played as the lesser concern. It's a pretty classic kicking and punching movie but it does explore some interesting themes. I really enjoyed the scenes from the main character's childhood featuring a beautiful little Thai boy interacting with elephants amidst some amazing backdrops. I also thought it was very interesting to learn later that one of the main reasons Jaa made the film is because his family raised elephants when he was growing up and he wanted to do something to raise awareness for the plight of Thai elephants being abused and mistreated. He actually used to practice some of his early martial arts training with elephants just like his character in this movie. Very cool, Tony!

One thing I can promise you though: You will spend the next week tip-toeing into rooms, sneaking up on your partner and screaming "Give me back my elephants!" Extra points if you can scream it in Thai.

--Rosemary

Fantastic Folks

Looking back on our adoption journey so far I would definitely say we have learned a lot, made some mistakes, and we will do some things differently next time. But the one thing I am so grateful we have done is that we made every effort to get involved in our adoption community. We have loved getting to know people (virtually and physically) in our adoption chatrooms, blogs and support groups.

Of course, it's simple human nature that we aren't going to always like everybody in the various support groups available to us (maybe even most of them) and there will be tons of opinions to disagree with and, inevitably, there will be that one woman who wants to prostelytize for adoptive breastfeeding the whole time. The important thing to remember though is that no matter how similar or dissimilar our personalities may be we have, arguably, one of life's most defining experiences in common: adoption. Thankfully though we don't have to see eye-to-eye in order to offer love.

I feel very blessed to say that while I no longer have access to a real live adoption support group I am so lucky to have the fantastic folks from our Holt Intl. chat room and all my adoption bloggy buddies. Just recently when we were so discouraged over not getting a travel date a fellow adoptive mom, who was returning to Thailand for a visit with their daughter's foster parents, emailed me to say that she would make room in her suitcase so we could send Button a care package. Can you imagine what that meant to us? She knew what that would mean because she has stood in this place.

Be gentle on yourself and make the time to meet and develop friendships with people who can relate to what you, and your children, are going through. Trying to do all this alone would be too exhausting. I'm so grateful for all my "adoptive mom friends" - we don't have to agree on religion or gender profiling - we just have to know how to be there for each other.

A great big thank you goes out to Ben, Becca and Kailani for taking our love, and a teddy bear, to Button!!

--Rosemary