Looking back on our adoption journey so far I would definitely say we have learned a lot, made some mistakes, and we will do some things differently next time. But the one thing I am so grateful we have done is that we made every effort to get involved in our adoption community. We have loved getting to know people (virtually and physically) in our adoption chatrooms, blogs and support groups.
Of course, it's simple human nature that we aren't going to always like everybody in the various support groups available to us (maybe even most of them) and there will be tons of opinions to disagree with and, inevitably, there will be that one woman who wants to prostelytize for adoptive breastfeeding the whole time. The important thing to remember though is that no matter how similar or dissimilar our personalities may be we have, arguably, one of life's most defining experiences in common: adoption. Thankfully though we don't have to see eye-to-eye in order to offer love.
I feel very blessed to say that while I no longer have access to a real live adoption support group I am so lucky to have the fantastic folks from our Holt Intl. chat room and all my adoption bloggy buddies. Just recently when we were so discouraged over not getting a travel date a fellow adoptive mom, who was returning to Thailand for a visit with their daughter's foster parents, emailed me to say that she would make room in her suitcase so we could send Button a care package. Can you imagine what that meant to us? She knew what that would mean because she has stood in this place.
Be gentle on yourself and make the time to meet and develop friendships with people who can relate to what you, and your children, are going through. Trying to do all this alone would be too exhausting. I'm so grateful for all my "adoptive mom friends" - we don't have to agree on religion or gender profiling - we just have to know how to be there for each other.
A great big thank you goes out to Ben, Becca and Kailani for taking our love, and a teddy bear, to Button!!
--Rosemary
Monday, November 2, 2009
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4 comments:
I agree! I truly treasure the people I've met. I have learned things that definitely aren't written in the books and hopefully, people, who walk this journey after us, will learn something from our blog too.
And of course, if there's anything we can do for you guys, (assuming they approve us for Dec) we will.
So true Rosemary - we don't always see eye to eye with others who are also adopting but regardless of how each family got to this point, we are all at the same point - being waiting parents.
If it wasn't for the friends we've made who have either taken the journey already or who are walking the path as we are, we would, quite simply have gone mad!
It never ceases to amaze me how supportive the adoption community is. I'm not sure what we would have done without the encouragement, advice and just general support (including yours!)
So glad that Button is getting your package. Hope that you, yourself, are delivering other families goodies soon!
I am so happy you got to send that package to button. The wait is hard and we want to reach out to our children in any way we can.
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