Greetings!

We designed this site in order to keep in touch with friends and family who are far away and in order to communicate with other adoptive families from around the world.

When we first started researching this wonderful way to become a family we read everything we could get our hands on. Even though there are a lot of great books out there, nothing was as informative or touching as the blogs we found by adoptees, biological parents, and adoptive families. So we are writing this blog now in hopes of returning the favor. We hope that if you are dear to us you will enjoy keeping up with our adventures. If you are someone out there involved in a part of the adoption triad we hope you will find information and comfort here and provide us with some of your own!

If you would like to get in touch with us we can be reached at: becomingafamily@gmail.com
Feel free to stop by anytime. We're happy to share our family story.

Take care,
Brian and Rosemary

Monday, October 26, 2009

Survival Checklist

What have I personally learned about adoption so far? Almost nothing since I am not yet actively parenting a child. What have I learned about surviving the adoption process? Hmmmm... a pretty good bit. I'ld like to know what you guys have learned too! Tell us your tips for getting through. Here are some of my favorites though:

"Rosemary's In-Process Survival Checklist"
  • Make copies, in triplicate, of everything. Including your dog's rabies certificate.
  • Do not attempt to diet - it is futile. Do not hang out with people who are dieting. Do not even remain friends with people who are naturally thin.
  • Understand that if you hang new curtains, change your hair color or allow your nephew to camp in your backyard for the weekend your homestudy will have to be updated. At your expense.
  • Whatever "they" told you all this would cost - that figure is incorrect.
  • Only hang out with fun people, only do fun things, only see funny movies. Laugh as much as possible.
  • If the people in your life refuse to see how constantly difficult this process is, if they refuse to help you celebrate humor at every turn in the road, subtly let them know you'll be back in contact when all this is over.
  • Eat, drink, exercise, make love, laugh, travel, shop, redecorate or whatever else you need to do to affirm life. Be kind and loving to yourself.
  • Pray, say affirmations, meditate and journal but, no matter what, do not loose touch with that inner voice or higher power. The Whisper you hear telling you to put one foot in front of the other may be the most important part of this journey.
  • Be nice to other people because they are going through hard stuff too. Our adoption troubles are not the only difficult thing to ever happen to anybody during this time.
  • Pick up at least one new hobby, preferably two, because the last thing we need is free time. Try to make it something you absolutely won't be able to do after the baby comes home. Celebrate this time because even though we want to wish it away it will never come again.
  • Adore your partner! They are the only other person who knows what it really feels like to wait for "YOUR CHILD" so share the experience as fully as possible.
  • Do something you have always wanted to do and never made time/money/courage for. Make sure that you can look back on this season as more than just a pergatory period.
  • Even though the house is empty and you are desperate to give love - resist the urge to get a puppy mere months before bringing home a high impact toddler. If you do get a puppy though please call me so I can come over and play with yours. Brian says I can't have one.
  • Babysit for everyone you know so that in a year or so when Junior is comfortable staying with other people you can start raking in the favors.
  • Read, read, read. We can't ever read too many adoption books, blogs, chatrooms, and articles.

10 comments:

Chris and Terri said...

Hide hide hide your phone!!! LOL Otherwise, when it is supposed to be ringing and isn't, at least you'll have something to do while you wait. Look for it.

These are funny! There have been really great days and really crummy ones. And somedays, oddly enough, have been both.

But it has been great to share and meet blogger buddies who are in the same process. Thank goodness - it does help pass the time, educate and entertain.

Jessica said...

These are great. So many of them resonate. Hope you're soon making a just-brought-home-baby-so-now-what survival list.

Kerrie and Jason said...

I can agree with the puppy thing. We recently lost our old dog but I have been resisting the urge to get another woofer.

Instead the resident cats are being driven crazy by the extra attention. We figure that once our child is home and they are being ignored they will be so relieved they won't have a chance to be upset at the new addition!

Now for my tips - stay busy. The wait will drive you crazy otherwise.. We never thought we'd still be waiting more than 5 years on. Probably just as well as we'd probably have run screaming from the process before we even started... :)

mrs. r said...

Hello! After reading your last bullet point, I think you might be really interested in AdoptionVoices ...if you haven't already found it in all your read, read, reading. lol.

I am the Community Manager for AdoptionVoices.com--the rapidly growing adoption social network.

I wanted to personally invite you to participate in AdoptionVoices for free by adding a profile for yourself (or your family) and connecting with others who share a similar passion for adoption. You can events, create and host groups, upload success videos, etc. We think you would be a perfect fit!

To join, simply go to www.adoptionvoices.com and click on the "sign up" box in the top right corner.

It only takes about 5 minutes to set up a quick profile.

Please let me know if you have any questions; it would be my pleasure to assist you in any way I can.


See you on AdoptionVoices! ;)

a Tonggu Momma said...

Oh my, yes! Especially to doing things you won't be able to do later very easily. The husband and I traveled to Europe with friends. Turns out, we were in Scotland when the Tongginator was born.

blackbelt said...

Do the every day things you won't be able to do for years to come - and revel in it! Like:
Go to the drug store and choose a new shampoo
Go to a really really quiet restaurant
Drink a very hot beverage - s l o w l y
Use fine china. And crystal.
Take a long hot bath. With Brian.
Sleep in late. Into the double-digits.
Wear white. And heels.

Mireille said...

This is funny with a bit of a twist... I like your humor Rosemary!! Keep on coming up with funny lists and before you know it your time is there and as Jessica said, you have to make a new list!

Jay and Chandra and Penny Regan said...

Great writing and so true! I busied myself with creating our daughter's Life Book. Also, I studied Thai which came in very handy as we were adopting a teenager who spoke virtually no English. We waited and got a pet after she came home so that she could help pick it out. We had about 5-6 copies of all important documents with us in Bangkok and sometimes needed ALL of them! Little sticky tabs that are removable are a great way to organize your important documents so you can find them at any given moment.

ninthandpine9 said...

The last part of #2 sounds just like you. I can hear you saying that. :) hilarious.

wish you guys were here with us, because we are fun people.

ali said...

p.s. this is Ali. I'm not sure what my other 2 comments are showing up as, but I just went ahead and made a google identity. seems easier.