We applied to Holt almost a year ago. Then we ended up having the most botched homestudy we've ever heard of and that process took 9 months. Somehow while we were trying to get a homestudy completed the official "Holt Adopting from Thailand" time line changed. We will now wait much longer than originally anticipated - along with all the other very patient pre-adoptive parents! I know that lots of people wait much longer than we will and that we have tons of projects to keep us busy in the meantime like taking Thai lessons and moving to another state. However, this is one of those days when I can't seem to cheer myself up. I just feel blue. This is probably made worse by the fact that it's cold and rainy here and Brian is stuck at the hospital all weekend. I have so many questions rolling around in my head. How old will our baby be when we meet them? When will we become parents? I mean the kind of parents who have a baby to take care of; not just the kind of parents who love a baby they've never met. How is our child adjusting to life in the meantime? Is our child's first mother safe and at peace with her choice?
It really is best if I don't think about it all too much. I need distraction. A lot of distractions. Hmm, maybe I'll go to the movies. Special shout out to recent posts at: Funkey Doodle Donkey, Journey to Shaun, and Journey to Little M. All of you have really helped cheer me up! Thanks for sharing.
- Rosemary
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6 comments:
Oh, the questions!!! I know just what you mean... When I found out I was pregnant (way back when) I immediately tried to figure out when I was due. Then when we were adopting, each step of the way I would try to figure out when our baby was due to join our family. I would obsess about it at times and there were never any clear answers. Even if the questions weren't about the timing, they would be about how he would react to us, how his foster family would feel saying goodbye, how we would all adjust, what his personality would be like, etc. The BIGGEST relief of having him home is not having SO MANY unknowns to wonder about. Just keep remembering ultimately it's in God's hands and He'll take care of the timing so you and your little one are together right on time. Hope you feel better soon. Adoption is a complicated journey... but it's a rich one.
Rosemary - hang in there. It stinks and I have good days and bad. It's very frustrating that it's completely out of our control. I'm a complete control freak and planner so that drives me crazy. Distraction is the key. I've taken up reading non-adoption books and googling random things in the meantime. Sometimes I feel like it's close and other times - it seems soooo far away.
staying busy is key. I also think about all those questions and sit and day dream of what my child will look like, how our first meeting will go, first doctor appointment, first day of school and so on. I think the holidays makes things a little worse without a little one to celebrate it with. I am thinking about doing some charity work involving kids to help pass the time this holiday. Hang in there, its a really bumpy ride.
It is hard, there is no way around it and no way of sugar coating it. If one more person would have told me, as an excuse for the delay, that it was in God's timing I would have strangled them. What did help is getting busy. Think of perhaps sponsoring a child, take up running or simply learn a new craft. Perhaps taking a language course in the mean time will help you feel closer to your child. Are you going for a special needs baby? The wait might be substantially shorter if you are. Whatever you are going through, trust me, we understand. A lot of us have been there. Hang on kid, it will happen.
Hi rosemary......
Yes i'm also a waiting mum.....like you and many others.It"s a long road and all we can do is feel bleu every now and then and support each other......i now how you feel and thats why i want to give you a bigggggg huggggg.My blog is in Dutch because i can express myself better in Dutch.
I'm a dutch girl living in Thailand with husband and daughter[from Taiwan]and waiting for the call .........www.made-in-taiwan.nl
We live in the south of Thailand on the island Koh Samui........
if you like to email me... nedklus@hotmail.com
greetz from Thailand
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