We designed this site in order to keep in touch with friends and family who are far away and in order to communicate with other adoptive families from around the world.

When we first started researching this wonderful way to become a family we read everything we could get our hands on. Even though there are a lot of great books out there, nothing was as informative or touching as the blogs we found by adoptees, biological parents, and adoptive families. So we are writing this blog now in hopes of returning the favor. We hope that if you are dear to us you will enjoy keeping up with our adventures. If you are someone out there involved in a part of the adoption triad we hope you will find information and comfort here and provide us with some of your own!

If you would like to get in touch with us we can be reached at:
Feel free to stop by anytime. We're happy to share our family story.

Take care,
Brian and Rosemary

Monday, February 1, 2010

The panic monster

Wow! Where have I been? It's crazy that my last post was 9 days ago! We have been so busy and yet I feel like we're just not getting enough done. We were in Seattle for part of that time and then we had some WONDERFUL friends in town for part of that time but where did all the rest of it go? I truly do not know. My friends and family would tell you that my spare moments were probably devoted to the study of panic. I've been doing a little bit of bathroom crying and some late night phone calls to the best friend. I've also been eating a lot of carbohydrates.

Hey, guys, do you have any idea how scary having your first child is? It's incredibly frightening! When you really stop to think about it having children is absurd. It's the end of sleeping late and spending all our money on ourselves. It's the end of afternoons full of quiet solitude and good music. It's the end of romantic weekends. I have an almost visceral dislike for the kids I see running in the mall. Why would any of us do this? I call the best friend to double check my sanity.

Then I'm putting away his little cups and plates in the cabinet and it's as though I really notice their size for the first time. Such tiny spoons. I washed all his socks and they hardly seemed big enough for real, live feet. I look at his pictures again. This specific little face will watch Sesame Street in the mornings with me. Kids are snuggly and they do say cute things. I call the best friend back to confer. She reminds me that babies smell good too. Anyway, Button is our kid and that makes it different. I don't know why but it does. Plus, I'm not going to let him run in the mall.

As long as Brian and I are together we can do anything and as long as we are going to meet Button everything is perfect. Outside of that does anything really matter? No. Not at all.



chaniemom said...

I remember trying to sleep at the hotel in Seattle the night before flying overseas and suddenly feeling completely in a panic. "What in the world are we doing? I have no idea how to be a parent, especially to a teenager!" It was very scary. And, yet, we're doing it, somehow. And she actually seems to be thriving. In fact, now she's talking about how she plans to adopt a child from Thailand someday when she's grown up. In some ways, I think I would have been more scared if it was a baby. But, it will all become second nature. So glad to hear about your wonderful Thai cookbook. I use mine all the time.

Jessica said...

Right there with you, Rosemary. Right there with you. Somedays I wonder, who on earth is going to let me parent a child, when I eat my lunch on the elevator. But I know you're going to be THE best momma. Can't wait until your Button is in your arms!

rosemary said...

LOL, Jess! I totally relate about eating lunch on the elevator. A couple of years back, I worked this super high demand job in florida where I used to escape into the records department (rows and rows of files) to eat alone standing up just for 10 minutes of silence. 8-)

Robin and Kyle said...

Gosh yes it is TERRIFYING! I remember that feeling so well. And yes, you lose a lot of your past life. But I have found that I really don't *miss* it much. And your kid will never be as annoying as everyone else's are. ;)

Sharon said...

LOL, Rosemary, it's funny because we have all these ideas before we get our child, bring them home, and I can tell you, some of your thoughts may change. It's all good though..... And by the time number 2 comes home.... your thoughts would have changed again! We're waiting for number 3!!!!

Megan said...

It is all really crazy cool!! I remember driving 3 hours away with my hubby to the airport (1st child was escorted) thinking--we are going to the airport as 2 and leaving with a 4.5 month old, how weird is that! But they let us and we all survived somehow! Can't wait till Button is in your arms~

Mireille said...

I have these quite moments back, listening to music while reading a book, sipping a vino... it will come back... my girls are 7,5 now and they like their own quite time as well. So it is just temporarily out of the picture, but you get so much back, you won't miss it at all!!

Kim Hancock said...

There will still be plenty of quiet afternoons with good music... if you want it that way. Some of my favorite memories are not only afternoons, but days we spent in pajamas. Curtains drawn closed... just a few lamps on... kids playing quietly... and not a sound... other than that of music. The kind of naps that come with those days are as good if not better than sleeping in! Because there's no running about he'll still smell like last night's bath.

If you're like me you will have read & researched yourself right into all of the latest & greatest baby/kid stuff spending a great deal of money, but you'll still be rich because you have him.

Romantic weekends will turn into romantic moments. And, in the blink of an eye he'll be grown & you'll get your romantic weekends back, but you'll be ready to get back home & see your baby. Because no matter how big he gets, he'll still be your baby.

I am so excited for you all & look forward to many blog updates! I enjoyed talking with your mom the other day & hearing the excitement in her voice!