We Got Our T.A.!!!

It finally happened!! Thank God, we finally got our T.A.! For those of you not in the adoption world, that stands for Travel Approval and it is the paperwork we have been missing. Marissa, our adoption advocate at Holt International, emailed me saying she received word that we were invited to appear before the DSDW board on March 10th and petition to adopt our son. HALLELUJAH!

We are so excited and grateful to finally be given this chance to meet Button and his foster family, for whom we have such appreciation. Even though we knew that every day was bringing us closer and closer to getting this phone call - I am still in a state of shock. I can't believe we have actually been approved for travel and we know when we will get to meet our son. What kind of unbelievable, miracle-magic is that?

So for those of you who are not Holt adoptive families here is a basic synopsis of how this whole thing will actually work: we will meet Button for the first time a few days before the DSDW board meeting. Our first sight of him will be in a casual setting with social workers and, possibly other adoptive families, we will play for a little while and then all go to lunch. Over the course of three days before we actually greet the DSDW, we will have other casual meetings with Button, the social workers and then his foster family. Of course, at that point in time, every second with our son is going to feel like the most important moment of our lives but the point is to try not to stress him out.

Button will be 18 months old when we finally meet him on March 7.
--Rosemary

Perfect Thai

For Christmas Brian's grandmother gave me one of my favorite things in the world: A COOKBOOK! Anyone who knows me well knows that I love nothing more than to curl up with a lovely, fat, cookbook and leaf through the pages looking at all the wonderful things to cook, eat, and share. This was a very special cookbook though because it was a Thai cookbook. Over the past couple of years Brian and I have bought one or two but this is my new reigning favorite!


Perfect Thai: A Collection of Over 100 Essential Recipes by Parragon Books is a wonderful compilation. There is a full color picture on every page showing the detailed recipe. I LOVE THAT! I don't know about you, but I really don't care to guess how my food should look at the end result. Perfect Thai is also divided into convenient sections: appetizers, soups and salads, for meat lovers, seafood fans, made with vegetables, and to finish. It is a truly easy and beautiful guide to cooking those delicious Thai dishes at home as a family. Trust me, it can be done, two years ago we couldn't even make coconut rice!

Let's fire up those woks!
--Rosemary

The Diapering Debate

We are considering the cloth diaper option. At first I hated the idea of it because, well, it's more work. But then I started doing research (you all know how I love my research) and cloth diapers have come so far!

My only prior experiences with cloth diapers were tipping me toward disposables but Brian was leaning in the opposite direction. About 18 years ago, I dealt with a horrid family in our church nursery who used cloth and insisted that we not only change and empty the diaper but do the whole toilet dunk and rinse for them. I was a teenage nursery volunteer and the nastiness completely traumatized me. Then about 10 year ago, I nannied for a family that used cloth when that still meant the old giant pins and pre-folds and I stuck myself (and the baby) more times than I care to admit.


However, now we have all the amazing innovations of Fuzzi Bunz, Apple Cheeks, Bumkins, bumGenius, and many more. They are super cute, ecologically conscious, fiscally sound and touted to cure diaper rash. Hmmm... it's getting harder and harder to say no.

So I'd like to hear from you guys. Have any of you mom's used cloth and loved it? Hated it? Felt neutral about the experience? What kind of cloth do you use and what tips do you have for making them last through the night? What would you do differently next time when it comes to diapering your child?

Thanks for the advice,
--Rosemary

Painting the nursery

The nursery??

Oh yes, the nursery!

Well, yes, in case you were wondering, we have not forgotten, nor were we planning on putting Button to sleep in a drawer. Although there have been days when I worried that's what might happen. :-( We have been creeping along in our nursery preparations though and it seems as if it will be quite cute when all is said and done. For now, I will just share these poorly lit, badly taken, un-altered in any way, photos of us painting our son's room. It was originally a nasty pea-green color bequeathed to us by the last tenant. After two coats of heavy duty primer it is now: AQUA! More photos to follow soon.

Hurry home, Button, your room's all painted!
--Rosemary

Weekend Whimsy

This was written for Button by a very dear friend of mine, and fellow adoptive mother, who touches my life in all the best ways. Thank you, Candace!

The Wish

You were once an angel
All dressed in white
You were, at least,
Until that special night
When Mommy wished on the wishing star
the one that twinkles - all alone -
way out very far
Wishes were carried on whispers of wind
and you, little angel,
You listened in
Leaving your tiny wings behind
You drifted down to humankind
Touched tiny feet upon solid ground
To find the Mommy
The Mommy who made that whispering, wishing sound
And this is how WE came to be
Wishes really do come true
For You
For ME

--Candace Turner

Nap Time

So for no particular reason except that it's mid January, and everyone needs a little chuckle, here's a clip from one of our favorite new sitcoms "Modern Family".

We loved this bit because it is so reminiscent of us...well that is if Brian were a gay man and I (Rosemary) were a morbidly obese giantess but you get my drift. The personality dynamic is pretty similar though. Just in case any of you are wondering, we would never ever "Furburize" Button - but if we attempted it - this is surely how it would go! ;-)



-- Brian and Rosemary

Playing The Adoption Card

So this Wednesday instead of posting a book review I am posting a blog link. I know that some of you are starting to think I have ceased to read but I promise this isn't true. In fact, I have a stack of excellent books I just need to write the reviews for but a bloggy friend of mine has written such a fantastic post that I can't help but spread a little linky-love.

Tonggu Momma over at Our Little Tongginator has written a fantastic essay about her effort to validate her young daughter's feelings about adoption and at the same time place parental limits on normal, every-kid-does-it, childhood manipulation.

I was very moved by her wisdom, parental love, confidence in facing all things adoption and clear decision making in the face of a very SMART 5 year old. I hope you guys will enjoy her wit as much as I did. You can find this particular post, "Playing the Adoption Card" at: Grown In My Heart where Tonggu Momma also occasionally blogs.

Happy Reading,
--Rosemary

The Diaper Bag

As all of us expectant Mom's know THE DIAPER BAG is this looming, choice on the already littered path of choices to be made en route to mommy-dom. Along with the nursery decor, the baby furniture, crib bedding, child proofing, strollers, and a million other big and small selections I didn't mention.

Why does the diaper bag feel like such a big deal then? Short answer: I don't know; I've never had one before. Long Answer: I've asked all my mom friends and the consensus seems to be "Because we have to carry it around with us for the next 2-5 years and it has the potential, if chosen poorly, to make us feel like a pack mule."

Now I am not a fashion-diva. Blue jeans and Converse are more my natural habitat. But even I draw the line at being seen with a giant Winnie the Pooh carryall slung over my shoulder until 2013. So what's a girl to do? Call up the Duchess and beg for a fabulous, all-terrain, sophisticated diaper bag for Christmas!
Ta-da!! The MZ Wallace "Kate" bag. It's so magnificent I can hardly stand it! I love it - really truly love it - more than I can say. Plus, it has all the goo-gaws that a diaper bag should have: 2 exterior bottle pockets, diaper changing pad, attachable shoulder strap, detachable market purse, 10 interior pockets and it's water and stain resistant!

So much love to, the Duchess, the world's best mother-in-law,
-Rosemary

A blog by any other name?

Recently someone asked us if we were going to rename our blog after Button came home.
We were surprised by the question because we carefully named this blog (long before we knew who Button was) so we wouldn't have to rename it once we had met our child. When we picked out the name, we were looking for something that would speak to the constant issues of family (and adoptive families) without seeming to just end at a court date that made us legal parents. So we chose "Becoming a Family".

In our minds, we are "Becoming A Family" forever. We were becoming a family in the moment of our first kiss, the second we realized we were in love, when we took marriage vows, when we decided to move to New York City and when we decided to move away, when we fight over loading the dishwasher "the wrong way", when we take turns emptying the cat box, when we make dinner for each other, when we face down pure terror over our child's health, when we celebrate Valentine's day.

We are becoming a family every moment of every day. It is a constantly evolving reality that we are thrilled to add children to. This family that we are creating together will never be finished and it will never be perfect because perfection is never the goal. Becoming a family, whatever shape that may take, is our life's work.

--Brian and Rosemary

Hello 2010!

There is a very beautiful myth that Mother Nature and Father Time gather the stars together every winter solstice (Dec. 21) and create a special and unique Baby New Year. Then they protect and love that baby until it can go out on it's own and be exactly what it is supposed to be. Now obviously, the Baby New Year grows quickly, since he is capable of independence by January 1st but all the same I still love that little story.


I know that I am a bit late with the New Year tidings but we hit the ground running once we came home from our holiday. All the same, I am thrilled to be enmeshed in 2010 and I hope you are too. No matter what happens this is the year that we will bring our son home! We will meet Button in 2010. Does anything else really matter? I feel so wonderfully happy to greet this year with all the love and enthusiasm in my heart.

Welcome, Baby New Year, we know you are going to do a great job!
--Rosemary