Greetings!

We designed this site in order to keep in touch with friends and family who are far away and in order to communicate with other adoptive families from around the world.

When we first started researching this wonderful way to become a family we read everything we could get our hands on. Even though there are a lot of great books out there, nothing was as informative or touching as the blogs we found by adoptees, biological parents, and adoptive families. So we are writing this blog now in hopes of returning the favor. We hope that if you are dear to us you will enjoy keeping up with our adventures. If you are someone out there involved in a part of the adoption triad we hope you will find information and comfort here and provide us with some of your own!

If you would like to get in touch with us we can be reached at: becomingafamily@gmail.com
Feel free to stop by anytime. We're happy to share our family story.

Take care,
Brian and Rosemary

Friday, January 16, 2009

The difference in me

I mentioned in a previous blog that this was my first trip back to Thailand since we started our adoption process and I was curious to see how our impending parenthood would affect my experiences. Well, everything was different. Thailand was the same - the difference was in me. Much of it is just too overwhelming (and boring) to re-create in a blog but some of it I am going to try to share because I think it's important. Trust me when I say, "It's really the tip of the iceberg."

The first thing I noticed (and I noticed it right away) was that all my defenses were completely down. I was the Starship Enterprise with a broken forcefield. When we first arrived in Bangkok I went out on the street to walk around in the sunlight for a while and try to let my body clock understand it was now daytime. I saw a beautiful little girl, maybe age 4, sitting alone on the sidewalk, begging. Now I knew that someone (a parent, or a more nefarious character) was watching from a nearby spot. Like many kids, the child's job was to beg because children and disabled people bring in more money than healthy adults. I dropped a few coins in her cup and walked on. I turned and looked back. She seemed so hot and tired. I couldn't stop wondering if she ever got to play. What was her life like? How could I help her? Was there a quota and if she made enough would they let her quit for the day? Or if I put a lot of money in her cup would they think she was a valuable asset and make her stay longer? I couldn't figure out what to do for her. Finally, I went and bought some noodles from a street vendor and took them to her. She just stared at me and then started eating like a starving wolf. I was so afraid someone would come along and take it from her that I stood there watching over her until she finished. I understand that buying food for little kids on the street is half crazy. I know that this one act doesn't solve any social problems or change anything for that girl's life. I get it. But I don't know where my child or his other mother is and every suffering person seemed like family.

- Rosemary

7 comments:

Third Mom said...

Exactly, said with tears coming down my face. Exactly.

Yoli said...

Such is the fate of children around the world. For one instant you were the kind of mother that she has never experienced.

wideopenspacesplease said...

Oh, Rosemary. I so get what you are talking about. The change that's going on in you is a gift to your future child. You are already a good mom.

Elizabeth said...

omg. how heartbreaking. it makes me ache with helplessness.

But I love you for buying those noodles.

...and being aware of the hurting around you.

Mireille said...

OMG, I see this EVERY DAY when I drive out of my secured estate here in South Africa. The only difference is that it is a little black child instead of this Asian girl, and my heart aches. Same as you...I feel by giving them money am I helping or not?? Very hard to live by EVERY DAY.

Mrs. Barno said...

I imagine you learned a little how God feels towards his adopted, and that when we do show kindness even tot he least, it is as though we are showing that kindness to Christ, and in feeding that girl you loved your own daughter. Amazing!

blackbelt said...

God saw. And it matters to Him.