We designed this site in order to keep in touch with friends and family who are far away and in order to communicate with other adoptive families from around the world.

When we first started researching this wonderful way to become a family we read everything we could get our hands on. Even though there are a lot of great books out there, nothing was as informative or touching as the blogs we found by adoptees, biological parents, and adoptive families. So we are writing this blog now in hopes of returning the favor. We hope that if you are dear to us you will enjoy keeping up with our adventures. If you are someone out there involved in a part of the adoption triad we hope you will find information and comfort here and provide us with some of your own!

If you would like to get in touch with us we can be reached at:
Feel free to stop by anytime. We're happy to share our family story.

Take care,
Brian and Rosemary

Saturday, May 9, 2009

What Day Is It?

Tiny Confession to make - I refuse to go to church on Mother's Day. It's one of my hallmark rules for living a happy life:
1.) Always bake with real butter.
2.) Never date a drummer.
3.) Childless couples should not attend church on Mother's Day.

After they pass out the flowers, candy, buttons or other gifty shpeil to all the moms walking in then they will ask all the moms to stand for a special blessing. Sometimes they even do a little contest for the oldest mother present and the youngest mother present. Then the minister will speak about the power of praying mothers. After the service, people will say, "When are you going to have your baby? You look ready to be a mom to me!" Brian will gently but firmly lead me towards the exit sign.

Do I think churches shouldn't recognize mothers? No! Parenting is the hardest job in the world and they deserve the love. Do I think churches should handle it differently? No! It makes 99% of the people happy and it's important to make so many people feel so good. Do I think that we aught to be expected to attend? NOPE. So I liberated us. Instead I go get a manicure and then Brian and I eat at this super divey (yet delicious) place named "Dukes" where I can assure you no one takes their grandma for brunch. After that we go see a matinee.

Here's the odd thing though. A couple of years ago I found out that I was enjoying Mother's Day. I like the way we un-celebrate by getting away from everyone else and doing stuff we don't normally do. I like having the time with Brian instead of being jammed up against strangers at the only full Sunday morning service all year. So ironically, this is just one more unexpected gift that the long adoption wait has brought us: our very own Mother's Day tradition.

I can't wait to celebrate our family, this amazing thing that Brian and I created, by skipping church with Button, taking him out for greasy-spoon yummies and then off to see the latest cartoon movie. Who knows? Maybe even next year, kiddo.

- Rosemary
P.S. A great big shout out to my old friend and roommate Dee who called to wish ME a happy Mother's Day and said, "your baby may not be in your arms yet but you are working so hard to prepare for parenthood. You are definitely an expectant Mother!" Her thoughtfulness and validation of the adoption process really blessed and encouraged me!!!


blackbelt said...

You are one of the best moms I know. You're waiting just like any other expecting mom.

But I also totally understand. And good for you for solving it for yourselves. For now. You will be more sensitive to others, partly because of your experience, but also because you are such an amazingly empathetic soul.

It wasn't so fun for me being an older single - harder for a woman than a man for some reason. I remember once Sunday I was holding someone's baby and a very sweet man said to me "That looks so natural." I'm sure he meant that as a positive comment but for someone who wasn't even dating at the time, it stung - like I wasn't complete or valuable or whole unless I had a baby. Which I don't believe is true. Christian or not.

Maci Miller said...

Good post and I soooo know what you are saying. I was dreading today but Jeff & I did the same thing! My Mom decided to stay home to help a relative and my mother-in-law had to go open their beach house weekend. This left Jeff & I alone to do a day and evening out on the town. There was this one moment at dinner that could have been bad for me...had the rest of the day not been so nice. The manager came over to thank us for dining and was like, so HAPPY MOTHER's DAY! Where are the kids???? Oh, I bet you are glad to have a night away from the kids, huh? I just sat there and smiled as politely as possible! He did give us a coupon for a free something on our next visit, after all. But in hindsight, perhaps somewhere without cute kids and much fan fare over Mother's Day might have been better!

So glad you and Brian had a nice day! Your day is coming soon and I agree with your old ARE expecting!

Nichole and Craig said...

I feel the exact same way you do. That was so nice of your friend to call you and wish you a Happy Mother's Day, if that had happened to me it would have made the day a little easier.

Jessica said...

Glad your day was good. What a fun tradition. At breakfast on Mother's Day they were giving flowers to all of the moms. My waitress brought me a flower. She said, "I don't know if you're a mother or not, but you deserve a flower." I could have hugged her! Glad your impending parenthood was recognized too.

Ellie said...

What a wonderful post! I'm a bit behind on my blog reading! I must agree with you on always baking with real butter, but never date a drummer?!? I married one! Someday you'll have to share with me your reasoning on this subject!

Your mother's day tradition sounds wonderful! Glad you had an enjoyable day, and can't wait for the day you wake for your first Mother's Day with your little Button in your arms! You ARE a mommy!